What Causes Impostor Syndrome?

If you have recognized some of the indicators of impostor syndrome in yourself from my earlier blog posts, you may be curious to understand what might have caused this.

Quite often it can be attributed to our upbringing, while it can also be a result of life events and experiences that contribute to this feeling of being a fraud, or unworthy of the recognition you receive.

Let’s explore some of the family dynamics that can contribute to impostor syndrome.

You may have been labelled as “the sensitive one” in the family and be called out for being too emotional, while another family member was considered the intelligent one. This can drive you to constantly strive to prove your capabilities in the hope of receiving acknowledgement that you are intelligent too.

It can be equally challenging to be told by your family that you’re the smart one, or the socially adept one, who can master new skills and achieve success with ease. The high expectations of you cause pressure to perform and live up to these expectations, especially whenever you're facing something that’s more challenging that you can’t achieve with ease.

Sometimes if you’re a gifted child of parents who are neglectful, abusive or absent and you receive no positive feedback or acknowledgement. You may find it hard to accept compliments and consistently work extra hard because of the concern that things will fall apart if you stop.

Equally challenging, is where academic achievement is highly prized in the family and is the primary source of validation and approval.

If your family unit often experiences conflict and anger and it is allowed to escalate or is constantly present, there may be little opportunity or energy for your accomplishments to receive the acknowledgement they deserve and you may feel that working even harder might somehow make things less volatile at home.

Sometimes only one particular skill is prized, perhaps athleticism, over academic achievement or vice versa and you don't excel in the skill that is highly prized. 

Outside of family dynamics, there are other causes.

One life event that can seriously impact your ability to own your accomplishments, is moving to another country where people like you are in a minority and you may no longer be communicating in your first language or understand the cultural norms. You feel at a disadvantage and may begin to question the value of your previous experience and accomplishments.

In this situation, it’s quite common for the experience and qualifications from your previous country of residence to not be recognized and appreciated in your new country of residence in the same way as they were in the past. You may find people asking what experience you have in the country you’ve moved to, somehow discounting everything you’ve done in the past.  

If you find you are promoted by your employer, as an immigrant, you might wonder if your promotion was simply a tick in the EDI (equity diversity and inclusion) initiatives box in your company, rather than the company valuing your contribution and believing you’re the most qualified person for that role.

Another life event could be receiving an academic scholarship to a prestigious college or University, where your fellow students are from a different and perhaps wealthier social background to you. You know you’re qualified and deserve to be here, yet you’re constantly reminded that you’re different than your fellow students, who may have come from more privileged environments and so you feel the need to constantly prove that you deserve to be there.

Bullying in the school can also serve to undermine our self-worth and accomplishments. I experienced bullying when in my first year of high school when I was falsely accused of cheating on an exam to get into that school. It fuelled my workaholic nature and it wasn’t until many decades later that I realised that I no longer had to keep proving myself over and over to those cruel 11 year old girls who taunted me about whether I really deserved to be there.

Sadly, bad bosses who never seem satisfied with our work and rarely, if ever, give positive feedback, abound in many workplaces and can often make us start to believe we’re the problem, when in fact it’s their own insecurities that drive them to put others down.

Another situation that can seriously damage our ability to see ourselves as worthy and capable is being in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. Here, one partner seeks to keep the other partner feeling insecure and dependent on them. They’ll often seek to cut their partner off from family and friends who could be supportive and encouraging. If you or someone you know is in a relationship like that, I invite you to look into the resources at the Escape To Better Foundation. My online course, What’s Important to Me Now is featured as a resource on their website and if you purchase it for yourself, or someone else through the link on that website, a portion of your investment will be returned to the Escape to Better Foundation.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios? Maybe you’ve had other experiences that caused you to doubt your abilities and contribute to your sense of impostor syndrome.

• I invite you to take time to reflect on what experiences in your past, or maybe in your present life may be causing these feelings and recognise that although you may have subconsciously bought into these stories in the past, now you’re aware of them, they don’t have to dominate your future.
• In my last blog post on impostor syndrome I invited you to list your strengths.
• Now I invite you to reflect on and write down your accomplishments both big and small. 

Reflecting on your strengths and accomplishments is a good way to begin to counter-balance feelings associated with impostor syndrome.

In future blog posts I’ll share more tools to help counteract impostor syndrome.