Why We Resist Networking and What We Can Do About It

Do you find networking challenging? You’re not alone. It was something I avoided for many years before reframing my perceptions and learning to love it.

Now I’m viewed as an expert networker and I’m passionate about helping others succeed at networking too. I’ve even developed a Networking for Success online course with a private virtual community to help others develop and practice their networking skills. I invite you to CLICK THIS LINK if you’re curious to learn more.  

What is It that STOPS Us from Networking?

The main reason most people avoid networking is fear. Walking into a networking event, whether live and in-person, or a virtual networking event and facing people we’ve never met before, is intimidating. Our natural fight or flight senses kick in and instead of looking forward to the experience we can end up dreading it.

When meeting someone we’ve never met before, we really don’t know what to expect. All kinds of negative thoughts run through our head. Will they be friendly or aloof? Will they judge us? How can I begin the conversation? When they ask me “What do you do?”, what will I say? What should I wear to fit in? and the list goes on.

That little voice in our head warning us of danger can really work us up into a state of high anxiety and then it’s hard to enjoy the experience of networking. It can also cause you to enter the event with a worried look on your face and unfortunately that doesn’t make you very approachable.

So, what can you do to get yourself into a positive state of mind before a networking event?

1. Do your research – know what to expect before you attend the event by talking to the organizer or someone you know who’s attended before.
2. Prepare your answer to the question “So, what do you do?” and practice until it flows naturally
3. Have open ended questions ready to encourage conversation
4. Read up on a topic or newsworthy event that could be of interest to the group and be ready to share what you’ve learned to encourage discussion
5. Remind yourself that others may be nervous too and consider ways you can make them feel more comfortable. If you see someone standing alone and looking lost, go up to them and say “Hi, I’m (your name), may I join you?”
6. Take a few deep breaths before you enter the room and tell yourself “I’m going into this event with the intention of meeting one or two interesting people, who I may wish to make a deeper connection with”
7. After taking a few deep breaths, remember to SMILE – you’ll look so much more friendly and approachable
8. Remember that networking is all about building connections with other people, not impressing them with your accomplishments or being someone you’re not.
9. Look for ways you can be of service to others. When you meet someone new, ask questions to learn more about them and where possible offer suggestions of other people, groups or resources that could be of value to them.
10. Consider arriving a little early and offering to give a hand with the set up. You’ll get to know the organizer and create a very positive first impression.

I hope these tips will help you overcome your discomfort with networking. It’s true, it does mean doing a little more work before you attend an event, however if you take the time to do this, you’ll have a very different and more positive experience.

As with learning any new skill, the more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll begin to feel. The private networking community that accompanies my Networking for Success online course is a great place to practice your networking skills in a warm and welcoming environment.

If I can go from dreading networking to learning to love it, you can too!