How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

If you suffer from impostor syndrome – that feeling that you’re not really worthy of the success and recognition you receive, I’d love to be able to tell you there’s a simple way to overcome this. The truth is that it takes considerable work to overcome this belief and the destructive impact it can have on your life. Even after all that work, it can still be lurking there in the background waiting to pounce when something triggers that impostor feeling, however its’ power is diminished when you understand what caused this feeling in the first place and declare that you know what’s happening and you’re not going to let it rule your life.

Here are some steps you can take to help overcome impostor syndrome:

Step 1 - Ask Yourself "Am I Experiencing Impostor Syndrome?": Look over my previous blog post Do You Experience Impostor Syndrome and take time to reflect on which of these things might be true for you. You may even begin to uncover specific incidents that you carry in your subconscious that are causing you to second guess your abilities and worthiness. 

Step 2 - Identify the Underlying Causes: Read my blog post What Causes Impostor Syndrome and take time to reflect on what might be causing this for you. Journal or document the specific causes you believe are behind your impostor syndrome and what you’ve learned from this discovery.

Step 3 - Identify the Triggers: Reflect on what situations, or which individuals cause this feeling to be triggered. What is your typical response when this happens? When you notice this happening, what new response could you consciously strive for instead?

Example:

The triggering incident: You realise you’ve made a mistake that impacts others.

Your typical self-talk: What was I thinking? How could I let this happen? Imagine the problems this will cause for others. They’ll think I’m irresponsible or worse, stupid.

Your NEW self-talk: Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. People will understand that I’m only human and this was just a simple mistake. I can figure out what I need to do to rectify this. This isn’t the end of the world. I will respond to it in an appropriate manner.

Step 4 - Crafting Your New Response When Triggered: Write a statement to declare what you’ll do when triggered in future e.g.

I realise that when (describe the event/person/situation that triggers you) happens, my impostor syndrome is triggered. I know that this is a result of (declare the situation, person or incident that you believe many have originally triggered this response). I will no longer allow this incident from the past to dictate my future. I know that others see value in me and respect my accomplishments and I will be kind to myself and remind myself that I need to respect and appreciate myself too.

Sue's personal true life example:

I realise that when I’m invited to speak at a new event or on a new topic that I’ve never spoken on before, my impostor syndrome is triggered. I recognize that this is a result of being bullied in school and unfairly and quite wrongly, accused of cheating on an exam. Now when this feeling that I'm not qualified to give this talk or lead this event comes up, I tell myself “I will no longer allow those cruel 11 year-old school girls to impact my self-confidence and my willingness to take on new things and succeed”. I also remind myself that I deserve to be there and would not be offered these opportunities if others did not think me worthy or capable and I'll remember that that participants are invariably very grateful for the wisdom I’ve shared.

Step 5 - Document your Successes – big and small. Go back as far as your school days if you like and note every success. Look over both your personal and professional accomplishments. If your mind is drawing a blank, ask friends, family and supportive co-workers to help.

Step 6 - Notice old negative stories:  Take time to reflect on the negative narratives you carry with you. These narratives aren’t serving you and reframing them can help e.g.

Old Story #1: I’m just not good with numbers

New Story: While numbers aren’t my favourite thing, I know I’m smart enough to figure this out and if necessary, I can do some research or ask a trusted friend for their support.

Old Story #2: I must always work really hard to succeed at anything

New Story: I realise that working hard can be an important factor in being successful and working on the right things can be even more important. I will make sure I’m spending my time working on the right things.

Step 7 - Reflect on your Accomplishments: whenever you doubt yourself, look back on the successes you documented in Step 5 and savour them (spend time really noticing and appreciating them)

Step 8 - Practice self-care: Find activities that are soothing or energising. Give yourself permission to spend time in nature, exercise, soak in a bath, call a friend – any activity that feels positive and uplifts you.

Step 9 - Declare Your New Roles: For things to change, you and others need to see you differently. Think of the roles you assumed as a result of your impostor syndrome and come up with a new role which you’ll be growing into e.g.

Old Role: The person who always organises social events

New Role: The person who advises others who wish to organise social events

Old Role: The person who doesn’t speak up in meetings unless called upon

New Role: The person who has valuable insights to share and is open to sharing them

Step 10 - Assemble Your Support Network: Build a team of supporters to help you transition into the new more confident you. You may want to find a mentor, a friend to cheer you on, someone who can help you make a plan and hold you accountable and someone who understands impostor syndrome, perhaps a professional coach or a peer who has experienced it and overcome it themselves.

Conclusion

If this seems like a lot of work, I won’t sugar coat this, it is. However, you have a choice: allow impostor syndrome to limit your future achievements and sense of fulfillment, or do something about it.

If you’d like me to partner with you on this journey, I can provide personalized 1-on-1 support or or you can sign up to express an interest in the Overcome Impostor Syndrome live virtual course which I’ll be offering in the coming months.

You don’t have to let impostor syndrome rule your life. I encourage you to follow these steps to build your confidence, take back control and start living a more fulfilled and joyful life.